So this idea of cool has put me in a total stump. Or I think that is my excuse because I am starting to develop what is known as senioritus where I've always know "following the rules" of school is total BS and I'm actually loosing all interest in school. Its like that feeling you get when you keep eating the same flavor of food until you get sick of it. But of course I will still pull out what I can.
These few days exploring the ideas of cool I've noticed many things about myself and the reasons we have this need to be cool. Whether we are aware of it or not. I myself do cool things and dress cool but at least I am aware of this and this class has just given me the chance to explore why. I definitely agree with the fact that humans have this sense of emptiness which is why they have the need to fill this whole by being cool, in doing so they have a sense of feeling important in this large world. We are just mere specks in this huge world, out of around 6 billion people on earth we are just one tiny little person that will probably never be famous or have any importance, great discovery, etc. There is no sense of knowing the meaning of ones life or ones identity which makes us feel this emptiness.
Becker's theory of the fear of death and the actually acknowledgment of death I definitely think is what makes up this emptiness and our reason to be cool. Everyone wants to fulfill some sort of important roll or do something that seems worth living for before you die. I mean it relates to the point of if life is meaningless or not. If you were to ask someone if they want to make something of their life before they die most people would answer yes, because if they said no then why not just kill themselves right then and there? This acknowledgment that we are all basically just temporary makes us feel insignificant, it makes us aware of the fact that in reality our lives may be meaningless because we are all going to die in the end. This is why we cover up this sense of emptiness by covering it over with coolness.
For example dogs do not acknowledge the fact that they are not immoral. Babies don't acknowledge mortality either, like babies, the ones that can't talk and move around. Dogs do not have this need to put up an act o being cool. All they need is food, water, poop, sleep, and some play time. They do not have this existential thought about the meaning of life and what to do before they die. Which is most likely why you do not see the dog choosing doggie outfits to wear to show off or build a personality to their image. Unlike dogs our need to want to feel important or wanting to fulfill or be enlightened before we die in one source of our need for a sense of meaning.
A second idea is the fact that we develop our "coolness" from how we are raised or who raises us. For example a lot of how we act is taken from our parents or who ever raises us, or the lifestyle we grow up in. The people who raise you are most likely the people who teach and give you your identity. In class we spoke about how most families or when growing up there is some sort of domination and competition actor. In order to survive we develop ways to be liked and compete by conforming to what seems as "approved" by who we are trying to get attention from.
In my family, there was this sense of everyone for themselves. Not saying that there is no love in our family as we do have love for each other but we it is just awkward to express it i guess. Growing up most of my childhood with my mother she is a women who can love other but loves herself more. Our whole family most have this whole "all for one" attitude. Which does not create my identity but makes up a part of my identity of pretending not to really care, try to fend for myself before others in certain crowds. I always seemed to be able to get the attention of my parents the most, being younger came to a good advantage too. My mother always was very good at portraying a very friendly and nice personality (approachable).This is why my identity in school of keeping to myself and this whole "I don't care" attitude is derived from. I also try to portray a friendly and approachable personality (maybe not so much my outter "cool" image) when I am outside of school.
We always have this need to be liked, this "I care about you but I'm trying to care about myself more" attitude is makes my mom admire me for. We try to gain admiration from others and be admired because it covers our feeling of being lonely. People do not have a true understanding of someone's identity or the full meaning of someone. If I were to really be honest and think about it, there is not one person I know that truly understands my meaning or who I am; my thoughts, my goals, why I am doing things that I am doing. We do not truly want to admit this though. This is why we try to fill up this lonely feeling by gaining power, being admired, feeling as if you are fulfilling something, being a hero.
And lastly is our neediness which probably connects back to everything, loneliness, emptiness, meaningless. People never seem to be satisfied with what they have or the situation they are living in. They always want something more or something better. Here are a couple of examples; a teenager wants to do sex or the first time, if they get it they develop the need to want a specific partner to do sex with and also form a strong relationship with. After that they become less content and want marriage, then kids, then whatever else. People are never content with what we have but I feel maybe this is the result of this emptiness rather then the reason for where the emptiness derives from. We feel empty and no one knows what this emptiness is or how to fill it so having a neediness or dependency on things gives a feeling as if you are accomplishing and getting something to fill the emptiness.
