School Assignment #38

Part B
"I hate school" I do not think I can count up how many times I have heard that since I first started school in what? Kindergarden? I started out with school with a really negative experience. I went to a really tradition chinese school where everything was really strict, we were never aloud to speak unless spoken to, we had to walk in line, and it was my idea of a prison as a little kid. I was so unhappy. I did not have nap time, recess, play time, and I was bullied. It was until I entered 3rd grade into Hong Kong International school which was a british based school. It was a totally different experience for me, it was actually fun and I did not have to speak chinese and do assignments in chinese where I would fail all the time. And people noticed I was a lot more happy, I smiled more and laughed more. This is when I actually enjoyed school. I never thought about why I was in school or what the point of school was. I just figured it was something you had to go to, I think it was mainly the fact that I enjoyed school as well.

When I moved here to New York I went to PS183, it was also a drastic change. There was diversity, I was use to seeing mainly chinese and white kids at school. It was really weird but all I remember in fourth grade being the new kid coming in the middle of the semester I thought about making friends and the first thing I remember was thinking "I wanna make friends with the popular girls". Which I did sadly (one of them being my best friend still who is like my complete opposite). I think this was the part of school where I kind of thought that school was mainly for socializing and making friends. We were needed to be taken to school every morning and picked up from school every afternoon. I never really had a choice about whether I wanted to go to school or not.

When coming to SOF I was a complete looser. I had no friends and I was bullied. I started to develop a hate for school because I figured out I could. Thats pretty much all I remember about middle school. I don't remember the specifics of anything before 11th grade, I try not to remember. Being in high school now I dislike school. I dislike waking up in the morning, I think I always have at least one thought of "nah, you shouldn't go to school to day". But I end up always voluntarily going. I hate school when there is school, although I get so bored when there isn't school. I hate the long hours, long hours of seeing the same faces everyday and learning different insignificant subjects. I could get a job but I can't find one, which definitely concludes the idea that we are kept in school so we don't take labor away from older people. I think the idea that we are in school to keep us out of trouble is stupid. I hate how much germs there is in school for I have gotten so sick so many times because I think I have a pretty weak immune system. I hate the drama and unnecessary attention in school. I hate the higher authority figures that is given to the teachers. I pretty much don't hang out with anyone from school. I really don't like anything about school.

Although I primarily hate school, its weird to say I still go to school. I am a really good student, I follow the rules, and am involved with my schedule to graduate. Why? Why is it that I know school is most likely bullshit and a waste of life but still go to school and still follow all the rules and assignments. I am still making sense of why myself. I know this may sound sort of dumb as well but I guess maybe its because I am aware of my ideas of school but still do everything school expects me to do because I'm not one to be involved in all the drama and all the annoyance of everything if I didn't follow up to the expectations of school. Or maybe thats just an excuse, I have really concluded yet...