HW 56

1.Some Interview Questions:
-How many close friends do you have (as in best friends)?
-What are the main components of a good friendship?
-Do you think many lifelong friends come from school such as high school or college?--How did you find your best friend?
-What are some benefits of having a relationship with a good friend?
-Do you think there can be negatives to having a best friend?
-What does a relationship between two friends have that is different then a relationship between two lovers (besides from being intimate,sex,etc)?

2. Interviews
Granit
How many close/good/best friends do you have?
Three
What do you main components of a good friendship is? What do you have with those three friends that you do not have with acquaintances?
Like we show a good amount of respect with each other. We don't try to do anything to put down each other or try to impress each other too much. We act ourselves. So there is like a level of comfort being around each other.
How many lifelong friends do you think you will have from high school?
Probably two or three.
What about college if you could guess?
Maybe like 5.
What do you think college in college you will have more lifelong friends?
I think its because when you get out of high school your life tends to change a lot so you'll make more friends that have more similar interests.
What are the negatives/positives of having a best friends?
The benefits are that you have someone to always talk to and hang out with if you need them. And I don't know whats really bad about having a best friend.
What do you think you the differences is between a relationships between a gf/bf and a friend? (besides from sex,etc)
If it's besides sex and everything, basically finding a intimate relationship is like trying to find a quality that you want in a best friend. Although no one says you can't have sex with your best friends, but if your looking for a intimate relationship your also looking for sex appeal but when your looking for a best friend your just looking for someone you can just relate to and share those problems about your other intimate relationships.

Stephanie
How many best friends/good friends do you have?
I say two tops.
What makes a good/best friend? Why are they your friends out of everyone?
Because they are dependable and trustworthy because I don't think a lot of people are fully trustworthy but they are somewhat trustworthy.
How do you know they are trustworthy?
Because we have exganged information to each other that you would only say to people you trust.
What do you think the main compenents of a good friendship is?
Reliablitiy, obviously trust. And I think those are the two main things. Common interests but you can have common interests with anyone, just because you have similar interest doesn't mean you guys have to be good friends. I don't think that should be the base of a friendship.
Do you think there are any negatives to like friendships?
Yes. Well, when you have a friend you tend to share a lot of things with them and you invite them to your life. Friends develope jelousy which can lead to backstabbing and like betrayal. When you have a close friend you are putting yourself in a vunerable position, when your betrayed by a friend you get hurt. Friendships can be difficult. Any type of relationship with another person can be complex.
What do you think the differences is between a intimate relationship between a bf/gf and a friendship besides from sex, and physical attractions, etc?
I don't think there is any, I think even the bertayal between bf and friends are the same if you want to take away the sex and physical interactions I think a boyfriend and a friend are basically the same.

Christian
How many best friends/good friends do you have?
um, I think I have around ten.
How many life long friends do you think you will attain from high school?
I think three.
What about college?
I think probably like one.
So how come you went from ten to three?
I think I went from ten to three because I think you loose more friends as you get older because we want to get closer to more people but its difficult to get close to ten people and out of those ten people you can probably only get close to three.
What do you think the main components of a good friendship is?
I trust them, we are both funny. We are similar in some aspects and he/she is easy to get along with.
What are the positives/negatives of a friendship relationship?
Well there is always going to be drama. Even with a best friend. And something positive....... your good friends.
What do you think the differences is between a intimate relationship between a bf/gf and a lifelong friend besides from physical attraction and sex, etc?
I don't really know. I can't answer that but they are pretty much the same thing. If you think about it, besides from physical attrition what you share with your gf it's pretty much the same as what you share with you best friend. Issues, your daily life, etc. Although you wouldn't talk to your gf about funny shit. Like crude shit.
So there is a differences, what wouldn't you do between each?
With my gf I would go out to dinner, and with a friend I'd probably play paint ball. I think its because I am mixed up between relationship between comfortable relationships and like a "strict" bussniessy relationship.

Javier
How many best friends/good friends do you have?
Two
What are the main components a good relationship with a friend?
Trust, loyalty, honesty, communication, interaction, and positivity. There is probably more but I'm too lazy.
Do you think many life long friends come from high school or college?
I think most of them come from high school and the beginning of college.
Why do you think people mainly gain best friends in the "begining" of things like in high school or college while people are still young?
I think that not in the beginning of high school but the ending of high school. You start to realize who really liked you and who are trustworthy to be your friends. And the beginning of high school you tend to see who is still friends with you throughout college.
So you don't technique gain good friends in college?
Yeah, basically true.
What are the positives and negatives of a friendship?
Thats difficult for me to think right now because I can't think of any negatives of having a best friend, there best friends.
Then maybe why do you people want friendships?
I guess to not feel lonely, depressed and emotional. Sometimes you have to have human interaction and be able to express things to someone about stressful things.
What do you think the difference is between an intimate relationship with a bf/gf is and a friendship relationship besides etc.?
I don't know really. There is no difference. There both best friends and both honest and loyal. I think it can be more difficult to find a friend then it is to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. I know its hard to understand and maybe sound weird but I feel like people have checklists for what they see in trying to find a friend or a gf/bf. For me its harder to find a friend because my checklist for a good friend is pretty general or wide open. My checklist for a girlfriend is more specific and has more narrow cause were humans trying to find someone to be intimate with for the rest of our lives and to bear our kids. I know sounds like a stupid metaphor but it makes sense in my head.

3. There was a lot of similar answers between each person. The question I noticed that they really got stuck on was the last one about the difference between a gf/bf relationship and a friendship. There really is not difference between a interactions between your friends and your intimate relationships. When I think about it with my boyfriend, my boyfriend and I are best friends. I think my boyfriend is my only best friend to be honest, even though that sounds sad I am happy with that. I think there is like a physiological thing between each person. I would like to further investigate how it affects your mind exactly. I remember talking about this in physiology class last year but I somewhat forgot. It was really hard to identify the differences if you leave out physical attraction and sex.

Although I feel like when you choose your friends you do look at physical attraction sometimes. You try to find a friend with similar clothing style and I think people tend to subconsciously choose friends on how "good looking" they are sometimes whether they know it or not. I am not saying this is everyone but most people whether they realize it. For example people tend to judge people before they get to know them. I hear this saying a lot. At times when there is like a "new" kid of person coming into a familiar zone people tend to get judged by the way they look and depending on how they look some people may determine right away if they are friend worthy. It is a stupid way of determining friendships but people do it.

For example I finally FINALLY got a job after a year of searching (the only way I got it is through connections) but when I first started three weeks ago my other fellow "coworkers" quickly determined whether they wanted to get to know me or completely ignore me. This most likely has to do with either how I look, how i dress (although the dress code is all black so there is nothing to look at), or maybe even my race. Who knows, I sure don't. Whatever it is it made me only make one friend out of the thousands of people who work there. Makes me feel kind of like crap but I see it as just a place to work, get money, and get the hell out.

It also interests me how the majority of students who I interviewed in my class figured they would have more friends in college then they do in high school. And as they get older they loose friends. I always heard the saying that friends come and go. Although are people ever in a search of finding just one best life long friend just like everyone in search of that one life long mate (most of the time at least).

4. You believe you can make a really great friend but you find it difficult to make/find friends that like you for "who you are".
Agree Disagree...etc.