When I think about parenting and myself being a mother it kind of freaks me out. I know for a fact, and I am pretty sure of my decision that I never want kids. Although everyone has told me so many times that I would make the most greatest mom in the world, I think I would be a really bad parent. I have no clue how children should be parented or what the right way to do so. I mean I have some ideas by hearing other people's ideas, television, etc. I have see results of different types of parenting like being too over protective, too unprotected, lack of communication, and the results by seeing people in school and friends. Although I am able to take notice I cannot really take what I notice and generate what I think is the perfect way of raising a child.
I do not think my parents were the best parents in the world otherwise our family would be together and perfect but I know my parents weren't complete failures either and did some things right because I grew up okay. I think. I hope. There are so many different ways of parenting, how would we ever know what the right one is? I do agree though that everyone tends to raise their child/children in some sort of way similar to the way their parents raised them whether they know it or not. Which is probably why I fear bearing a child so much.
All the things I dislike about how my parents raised me or handle certain situations, I always thought to myself "I am never going to be like that." We tell ourselves that we take what we notice our parents have done wrong and avoid it. I feel like this is the case like 20% of the time (that was a random guess). I always see these teen shows (16 and Pregnant on MTV) about pregnant young girls and the difficulty they go through. Most of which end up with a reunion of the mother crying and saying something like "I had her when I was 16, I didn't want her to do the same." Also, as I tend to get older I have really taken notice that I am inheriting certain things that my parents do that I told myself I wouldn't. One for example is that my mom has a intense shopping addiction. Its not just her being a "girl" or whatever people like to stereotype but she spends the majority of her money on designer clothing and such instead of pay for bills (she use to at least, this is not the case anymore).
Sadly, I have to admit I have started to take notice that I have been wasting money on useless things such as clothing just like my mother. Which makes me want to have a child even less! Luckily although my dad is not perfect I now sort of notice how hard working he is even at his age he is still trying to bring in the money. Which in my opinion should show me how I should be in the future. Hard working. I think good parenting is setting a good example for your child. I have heard this many times. If you raise your child and show them how to act (which I am not sure how yet) they hopefully they will grow up to be the same way. There would be no bad things your child will develop because of your genes.
And that was my huge rant on parenting which hopefully made sense because I don't even know if I knew what I was trying to say.
When Parenting Theories Backfire
I thought this article was really cute. I know nothing about parenting I think so this shows me that letting the kid do whatever they want and figure things out on their own and what mistakes not to make is not the right way to go. Although I am not sure if the child being a good negotiator is a bad thing in general, it is bad to the mother as it goes against her wishes.
It was funny how by presenting choices to her children it totally backfired as the kids ended up presenting her their choices. It shows how children can so easily pick up on how you decide to run things. I think its good to give your child some freedom to be able to learn from their mistakes on their own as well as figure out alternative choices to things. This article however shoes the cut off point, how a child may need some choices made for them.
Diana Baumrind's (1966) Prototypical Descriptions of 3 Parenting Styles
When reading this article it immediately struck me of what kind of parenting would probably be seen as the best in society as the other two would be judged and looked down upon. Not that I am saying I disagree but the type of parenting that seems the most effective or "good" is the authoritative parent. This type of parent seems to have a balance of having a good amount of authority and giving the child the right amount of "freedom". It is also weird that always in a parenting explanation that the parent is always a "she." I am pretty sure men can be parents too.
It makes me wonder if there are any other categories then these three. I think these three categories are just really general. This does really show how people tend to really get judge by their parenting ways. I think this is really why parents are so anxious about how the way their children act because it is always seen as a reflection of the parent or the parent's fault.
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