So I am not a very good creative writer, so here is my incredible short story of a cool kid, I guess.
She walked quick as her feet stomped from her heavy chunky boots. She took her hands out of her faux leather jacket pockets and entered the school. It was early in the morning and she had just walked into school just in time before she was declared late. She always seemed to get to school exactly as the right moment, never late, and most definitely never early. She slowly walked up to the front elevator as if gliding across the floor and mumbled "good morning" to those who actually made eye contact. She stared straight up at the numbers above the elevator rubbing the bags under her eyes gently so she wouldn't smudge her thick black eyeliner. More teenagers slowly gathered around the elevator in silence with a couple mummers, some of which was her classmates and some weren't. Some kids looked her up and down at her outfit as she always coordinated her clothing differently everyday, never wearing the same outfit. She wore a lot of dark colors too.
The wait for the elevator feels like a lifetime, everyone avoids interactions and try glancing at one another without being noticed. Sofie on the other hand just keeps staring at the elevator numbers not really caring who or what other were doing around her. The dean of the school walks up flailing his arms "Everybody walk up, walk up! No one is allowed to get on the elevator." he announcing in a nasally voice. Some of the younger kids and more shy kids disperse and begin their long journey up the mountain of stairs and some just stay waiting for the elevator.
"Sofie, you have to walk up." The dean says as he stands behind the now smaller crowd still waiting for the elevator.
"Why? What ever happened to senior privileges?"
"Just walk..." he sighed, not wanting to single her out as he knew she was one of the very few students who received high marks and wasn't one of the students that caused a significant amount of trouble.
She just faces back to the elevator as if she had never spoken to the dean at all, just then the elevator door opens and everyone begins to stumble inside as if it was a subway cart. She pushes through everyone up to the elevator buttons and pulls out the elevator key that has been copied around the school which only a handful of students have. She uses to elevator key to turn on the elevator and presses 7. Some kids in the elevator begin to have conversations, some joke, some laugh, some make fun, some mumble. Throwing the keys back into her black studded bag she puts her hands back in her jacket pocket and stares at a space on the wall and attempts to drown out the voices of people around her as one of her classmates takes notice of her gravitas and uncaring attitude and said "hey."
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Chlohoe!
ReplyDeleteHey mommy, I'd like to tell you that I really enjoyed your story, simply because this is YOU and you are definitely one of the coolest people I know.
I can tell cool to you is a person who makes their own rules, follows their own trends and doesn't let anyone interfere with who she is.
I like how you embodied all that in your story with one compressed scene just like we were supposed to. You used a common example that we all go through, except your character portrays a complex trait that no other person had. They are independent, rebellious yet not in a way that insults the intelligence of others.
I agree that being cool is trying your best to do well but with out imposing consequences to your true beliefs.
Lovely job hun <3
- Alicia
Dear Chloe,
ReplyDeleteyour story is purely the definition of cool. I liked how you describe the things that people think but don't say. clothes is a major factor of cool. it is almost as if it is a race. groups form based on how people dress. Also your story covered the money factor of cool because your character never wore the same outfit.
-jin
CHLOE!
ReplyDeleteI really really really enjoyed your story. I think this is one of the best I have read so far. From the part where you talk about the eyeliner i knew it was YOU! Its great how you wrote this about yourself rather than creating a character. it shows the real you. YOU ARE DEF COOL :)
i wish this story could be voiced...i want to be mr.marks lol :D
I liked the honesty of what you wrote. You didn't really write about a particularly cool character, but an honest one. And that's what I think makes people really cool.
ReplyDeleteChloe,
ReplyDeleteNice story. I thought it was kinda funny because I am almost positive that pretty much every senior has had an encounter with Mr. Marks such as the one in your story by now.
I like how you pinpoint the "coolness" of the character by having Sofie defiantly ignore the dean and get into the elevator anyway. On a deeper level, Sofie seemed cool to me also because she "knew her place" in a sense. She was aware of her success as a student and therefore knew what leeway she had with the school administration.
What I took away from your story, was that a part of "cool" is being aware of who you are, and who people actually think you are. For example, had Sofie been kicked off the elevator by the dean, than Sofie would not have seemed as cool, because she didn't correctly assess the dean's attitude towards her. She did, and thats partly why Sofie [you?] was [are] pretty cool.
Hey Chloe,
ReplyDeleteI think you have a very interesting and real-like story that throws out a theme of honesty that is represented in a cool manner.
What I took from your story was a person who represented their "coolness" through avoiding others and not giving a damn about others that surrounded her. Almost like saying, better then everyone. I also think your use of materialistic attributes such as the faux leather, chunky boots and black eyeliner built your character as the kind of person "who knows their cool, but you should already know that."
I can't wait for more interesting and honest interpretation of cool you are going to express in the future.
Chloe
ReplyDeletei enjoy you're story alot, its a true SOF definition of cool, the whole elevator thing. I know that's happen to me a number of times so i can really connect to it.
I also like how it never got boring even tho it was just about one scene.
Chloe
ReplyDeletei really enjoyed your story. its practically my everyday morning. Sophie was a good character who represented whats "cool" in respectful manner, which is probably the reason she got over with the dean. It made me laugh a little to hear in your story when you wrote "everyone avoids interactions and try glancing at one another without being noticed." because thats exactly what everyone is doing, while studying each other's outfits for the day.